4.10.15

The Soda Monster

My weight has been an on again/off again struggle for me since I broke my leg in sixth grade and was on crutches for two years. I underwent multiple surgeries and was unable to participate in any sports or healthy activities. So I mainly ate. And ate a little more. I developed eating disorders along the way. I went from extremely thin to rather heavy. There was rarely an in between. This continued for about 15 years. 

On my 29th birthday I was the heaviest I had ever been and then, exactly a year later, I was at my thinnest. I gladly peaced out my twenties and grabbed tight to my thirties. Looking better than ever. I kept it off for a good while until my battle with mental illness took a hold of me again and I was put on a medicine that made me gain 18 lbs in less than a week. A few years later and the weight just climbed back on in a not so slow as much as steady manner. 

This photo was me on my heaviest at 29 and then a little over a year later at my thinnest. It was a 91 lb difference. I went from 237 lbs to 146lbs. 

While I am still 30 lbs thinner than I was on my 29th birthday, I am almost 60 lbs heavier than I was on my 30th. I have no desire to be at my smallest weight, but I definitely want to find the middle ground again. Not for the sake of any one else but myself. I want to love taking pictures with my friends again! I want to enjoy my wardrobe instead of clinching teeth and holding back tears when one less piece fits. 

Ultimately, this is where I would like to get back to, about 25/30 lbs less than now and about 20/25 lbs more than at my thinnest.  I weighed around 170 or so in this photo and I would be fine with that. I was a size 8/10. Now I am back in a 14/16. 

My number one enemy is soda. I am allergic to aspartame and so I can't have diet ( I've always heard it's terrible for you anyways) and therefore, the ones I drink usually carry a whopping 40 grams of sugar in them. It is not the calories that bother me so much as it is the sugar. I really need to cut it out. 

My problem is that it is just so good! I need to get back to loving green tea and homemade lemonade. 

If only I drank coffee instead of ice cream with coffee added or sugar filled creamer with a splash of coffee;) 

What is the one food or drink item that you have trouble with? Any tips to help me quit?

8 comments:

  1. You are beautiful at any size!! I know you can do it. You never cease to amaze <3

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  2. I was pretty hung up on soda when was younger. I have IBS and it is a huge trigger for me, so I had to cut it out a few years ago. I didn't notice a weight difference, but did it ever make me feel better. Good luck on your journey

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  3. I am so addicted to diet soda, I try to give it up but then I get so tired so that is probably a sign to ditch it. You are beautiful either way girl so just do what makes you happy.

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  4. I actually prefer diet over regular, but you're right, diet isn't that much better for your anyways. I have lately been drinking La Croix sparkling water to fulfill that carbonated need and the flavors or SO good! (even found a sangria recipe to make with one...) My main thing is carbs and sugar. So my tips that have helped me is to always count them together (because they are one in the same..carbs turn to sugar faster than sugar sticks to your body) and keep track of every single thing you eat. I use my fitness pal to keep on track of my carb/sugar intake for the day. :) And always remember your beauty radiates outwardly no matter any size!

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  5. I hope you reach your goals safely :)

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  6. I, too, am allergic to all artificial sweeteners and also a Coke ADDICT (soda ;). It is sooooo hard to gove it up. I did (for the umpteenth time) back in June, and so far so good. But, I still think about it quite often. It truly is an addiction, and I think so much harder when you can't do the artificial sugar. I do water and Honest Tea which has a lot less sugar than soda and other sweet teas. But, I miss Coke every single day!

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  7. You know I am with you on the weight loss and gain back, but as far as soda goes, I think the best way is cold turkey. The headaches suck, but after about a week, they are gone. I drink a lot of La Croix, which has no sweetener and and no calories, I think you can drink that? I like the lemon the best, but they are all good, minus the pear. We need to start meeting for workouts/walking sessions! The weather is so amazingly nice. Most of all, I love you no matter the size you are. You are beautiful.

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  8. I gave up EVERYTHING except water over six months ago... I don't really watch what I eat - but there was NO difference like I was promised if I have up my Cokes and Sweet Tea. I'm heavier now that I have EVER been and I want to be healthy and lose weight... but I have NO willpower. I love food too much... I love food that is BAD for me too much!

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